The Good, The Bad and The Ugly Guns

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Google claims that the Chinese fire lance, developed in the 10th century, was most likely mankind’s first firearm. Arising roughly 100 years after Chinese alchemists serendipitously discovered gunpowder, the fire lance consisted of a length of hollow bamboo packed with the fulminant stuff. In its original form, this thing just shot out a long tongue of flame and scared the bejeebers out of people. In short order, however, some enterprising soul filled the end with rocks and took everything to the very next level.

Over the past thousand years or so, the state of the art in handheld firearms has steadily and inexorably evolved. That original fire lance became the matchlock that begat the flintlock that ultimately morphed into the FN SCAR. For the most part, that evolutionary drive has been in a consistently upward direction. However, there were some setbacks.

In each of the cases we will discuss today, some well-intentioned engineer--formally trained or otherwise--sat down at a table and said, “I think we should build this.” Then some lunatic agreed. The end result was fascinating simply because of its innate nuttiness.

The Component Metal Products CM10

Any quality lightweight 12-bore shotgun will peg my funmeter in short order. By extension, I’d want my 10-gauge to be heavy, rugged, and lyrically over-built. However, the good folks at Component Metal Products had other ideas.

What’s the first thing you might think about were you tasked to design and build a 10-gauge shotgun? If you suggested you build the thing out of plumbing components you can source at Home Depot and forego a buttstock, then you should be institutionalized. However, that’s exactly the tack that the CMP guys followed. The CM10 looks to be more deathtrap than scattergun.

I haven’t found a great deal about these weapons online. For reasons we will discuss directly, they were not terribly popular. As near as I could tell they were all smoothbore and were offered in 37mm, 26.5mm, 10-gauge, and 12-gauge. Mine is a 10-bore. I bought the gun from a regional gun auction just because it was so darn strange.

The action pivots open like that of the esteemed German MG34 belt-fed machinegun. It is held in place via nothing more than a spring-loaded ball bearing. Just give it a sharp twist, and the barrel pivots to expose the breech. There is also a ridiculously simple pressed steel spring-loaded ejector. 

The gun nominally fires from the open bolt. If I recall correctly, they were marketed as such in gun magazines back in the day. However, all that really means is that, once the gun is loaded, you lock the firing pin assembly to the rear against spring pressure. The safety, such as it is, consists solely of a pair of holes into which the cocking knob can be pressed to secure the bolt in place. The gun uses a standard M16 pistol grip. Any reasonably-competent 11th-grader could build one in High School metal shop.

I don’t love you guys enough to shoot this thing. In fact, I’d sooner unleash a rabid water moccasin in my underwear than touch off a 10-gauge shotgun shell in this austere little death machine. Curiously, my copy was filthy when I bought it. Apparently there is some lunatic out there who actually shot this one a good bit. Wherever he is, may he rest in peace.

The Braverman Pen Gun

Pen guns are typically controlled as Any Other Weapons under the National Firearms Act of 1934. AOWs are basically anything that gives Uncle Sam the heebie-jeebies but doesn’t fall into the established categories of machineguns, short-barreled weapons, or destructive devices like cannons or grenade launchers. Examples include umbrella guns, cane guns, handguns with vertical foregrips, and the like. The Braverman pen gun was designed specifically to circumvent that classification.

The Braverman pen gun carries like a pen and can pass for a writing implement in dim light. It even has a pocket clip. To load the thing, you just thread off the barrel, drop in a round, and screw it back in place. These weapons were offered in .22LR, .22 Win Mag, .25ACP, .32ACP, and .380ACP. However, the company purportedly warned that actually firing the .380 version incurred a risk of destroying it.

To fire the gun you grasped the two ends, pulled them apart, and then let the two bits settle back together in an L-shape. You then rotated a safety ring off safe, pointed the contraption in the direction of something you disliked, and squeezed. There were no sights.

To return the gun to its linear configuration you actually had to perform the previous exercise in reverse…twice. Only once, and the barrel wouldn’t release for removal. As you might imagine, trying to do all that stuff while some bad guy was trying to kill you was asking quite a lot.

The Braverman pen gun was a handgun designed to placate plaintiff’s attorneys. Alas, some aspiring rapper supposedly got buzzed at a party and inadvertently killed himself with one. His grieving family purportedly sued the company into oblivion, and Braverman pen guns were no more.

The Clerke First

The 1968 Gun Control Act halted the importation of inexpensive pocket pistols under the guise of controlling “Saturday Night Specials.” As nature abhors a vacuum, domestic American industry ramped up to fill that need. Most of those guns were well-reasoned and competently executed. And then there was the Clerke First.

Developed by a company called Clerke Technicorp, the cool name was the only redeeming aspect of the project. Chambered in either .22LR or .32 S&W, the Clerke First revolver was developed on the chassis of a pot metal blank pistol used to crank up track and field events. Those in the know typically called it the “Clerke Worst.” This was the skunkopotamus of self-defense handguns.

The gun could be had in either black or chrome. Both versions sported cheesy plastic grips. The cylinder was held in place with a long rivet and pivoted to the right for loading. There was an ejector rod nestled inside the cylinder axle that could be used to manually push out the empties. This rod was easily lost. A friend who ran a gun shop back in the 70’s that carried these craptastic pistols once told me it was cheaper to buy a new gun than to replace a lost ejector rod. If given the option of packing a Clerke First revolver or a big honking stick for self-defense, I’d have to think it over a bit before deciding.

The Firearms International Bronco

First produced in Accokeek, MD, in 1967, the Firearms International Bronco looks more like the entrails from an umbrella than a firearm. Built as they were prior to the 1968 Gun Control Act, these guns bore no markings or serial numbers. MSRP for these weapons new was $9.95 at the time. That would still be less than a c-note today. 

The original Bronco was a single-shot .22 rifle that weighed 2.5 pounds and sported a 16.5-inch barrel. After the 68 GCA, these guns had to be serialized. That pushed the dealer cost up to $11. MSRP was $14.95. 

In 1970, a company called Garcia took over production and offered the gun in .22LR, .22 Win Mag, .410, and a curious Drilling-style combo gun that fired both .22 and .410 out of separate barrels. The latter version had 20-inch tubes. They eventually changed the name to the Bauer Rabbit. Production ceased in 1978 with a retail price of $45.

To load the Bronco, you pull back on the forward trigger and rotate the barrel assembly to expose the breech in the manner of the aforementioned CM10. This maneuver automatically cocks the striker. There is a manual extractor to help clear the gun of empties. Roll the barrel assembly back in place, aim, and fire. There is a crossbolt safety included for your convenience. The front sight is heavily fenced. The rear sight is a small pressed steel V. 

Unlike some of these other weapons, the Bronco is completely safe. It was just cheap. Some versions even broke down into two halves for easy portage. Like me, the Bronco survival rifle is so ugly it’s almost cool.

The North American Arms Micro-Revolver

Full disclosure, I am a great fan of North American Arms guns. Cut from surgical-grade stainless steel to an exacting standard of workmanship, these adorable little wheelguns are absolutely gorgeous. I have a .22 Win Mag version with a folding grip that is my standard pocket carry piece. 

I pack this gun in church and other places where a holstered weapon might seem out of place. I only keep four of the five chambers loaded for safety. My compact Win Mag revolver is not the tactical equivalent to a tricked-out HK416. However, when stoked with Winchester PDX-1 bonded expanding hollowpoints it is infinitely preferable to foul language and pleading. However, North American Arms also offers essentially the same gun in .22 Short. That thing isn’t much larger than a souped-up peanut.

The concept is the same. You remove the axle pin and drop the cylinder clear for loading. The axle pin doubles as a manual ejector. The trigger is a nice manual single action. There are technically some fixed iron sights, but they are occluded by the hammer when the gun is ready to fire.

I love my copy simply as a novelty, but it is scaled for my kids’ action figures. It does, however, look super cool just hanging on the wall alongside the more serious iron. The barrel is 1.125 inches long, and this precious little NAA micro gun has an MSRP of $255. 

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